birthday curry

back in the day, a select few of us helped graham celebrate his upcoming nuptials with a brick lane stag-do curry. at the time we agreed that it'd be good to meet up every year like that and share an indian, but sadly, we never quite got around to organising it...

until last year that is, when we decided to celebrate what would have been graham's 51st birthday with a meal at his favourite curry house in thame. it began as a plan to reunite the four of us that were there with him in brick lane, but in the end around twenty of us gathered at the thame tandoori for a very enjoyable and poignant meal.

and it went so well that we're doing it again this year.

the thame tandoori will again be the venue, sunday 3rd february, 12.30 lunchtime for a buffet meal. it'll be pretty informal, and it's open to anyone who knew graham and would like to be there to remember him with us.

(we need to know numbers, so if you'd like to come, please send an email to si [at] simonsmithillustrator [dot] co [dot] uk, or leave a message for us here in the comments...)

Mr Hollows the football coach

Mark Ansell writes: I have been going through the attic at my parents' to have a clear out and found a photo of Graham Hollows when he was our football coach at John Hampden. I'm in the middle in the top row. He was an excellent coach, encouraging us all the way and got the balance right between having fun and trying to win the matches. We were a decent team and I learnt a thing or two about how to defend from Graham.

Bodge, i've been thinking about you a lot again lately.

it's little things - the cherry tree we planted around the time you died is in fruit again, and the local pigeons are eyeing it up. i'll soon be getting obsessed with chasing them off, and you'd have enjoyed laughing at me for that.

other things - i just bought a shirt that looks like it's made from deckchair fabric. i gave you such a lot of grief for wearing something similar a few years back - it doesn't seem fair that you're not here to extract some revenge and to hear my admission that actually shirts like that do look ok, really.

the latest failings of the england footy team - plus some minor family football triumphs that we've had here recently - you should be around to share in these things [your dad still talks about when we went to wembley to watch graham taylor's lot struggle against holland, and i love him for that]

if you were here now i'd have bought you the latest elbow album [if you'd not already got it] and be banging on about how great it is.
it's about friendships and reminiscence and fond rememberings, so it's probably not surprising that it leaves me thinking about you.

the last track - 'dear friends' - is maybe most appropriate...
"dear friends
you are angels and drunks
you are magi

old friends

you stuck a pin in the map i was in
you are the stars
i navigate home by"

i miss you mate.

50 Peaks for 50 Years

In February this year, Graham would have been 50. I too hope to celebrate my 50th birthday during that same month. Before he died, he and I started to plan a Lake District adventure, involving 50 somethings (mountains, pints of beer ...?). I have decided to see it through, to remember Graham, as my own celebration and also raise money for Teacher Support Network, one of the charities chosen by Towe to receive memorial funds after Graham died.

If you would like to join me on any, all or just a bit of one of the walks, you would be most welcome. The first is on February 5th, Graham's 50th birthday, and is a walk up his favourite hill, Loughrigg. During the year I will include all four peaks over 3000', and finish (hopefully) in September on Helvellyn. There is a mixture of easier and more challenging walks to suit most people, but being peaks I am afraid that they all involve some uphill!

The full list of dates is:
5 & 6 February
30 April, 1 & 2 May
26 & 27 June
27, 28 & 29 August
24 & 25 September

Please email me on chris.saunders@talktalk.net for more details about where I will be walking if you would like to join me.

And if you can sponsor me, please visit my Virgin Money Giving page at:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/RememberingGraham

Thanks and with all best wishes for 2011

Chris Saunders

Remembering Graham – One year on

Stoke Mandveille School remembered Graham on 12 November with an assembly for the junior children, present and past staff, and others who had been part of the traumatic events of a year ago. We were all delighted that Towe, Graham’s father and his sister Jane were able to join us to mark this special occasion. Matt Ashmead, the new Headteacher, linked the event to Remembrance Day and the poppies which are a reminder of past events. The children could identify with this as they see on a daily basis all the tangible reminders around the school of what Graham had done for them and the areas which are dedicated to his memory – the library, the mini bus, the courtyard garden and the outdoor activity area. Year 6 children compiled a book of their memories of Graham - some of which were read out - and this was given to Towe as a permanent reminder of the event. There were some very moving tributes- both happy and sad – and there were tears and laughter. David Jenkins, the Methodist minister who had taken Graham’s memorial service in Stoke Mandeville church, then led the rest of the assembly, which included one of Graham’s favourite hymns and a special song, and there was time for everyone to reflect on the Graham they knew and loved. The school is moving on – and Graham would be pleased about this as he always wanted the best for the children – but this was a very special day which gave everyone time to stop and reflect and come together to share their memories of a much loved and greatly respected man.

Pat Aylett

Not How Did He Die, but How Did He Live?

Not, how did he die, but how did he live?
Not, what did he gain, but how did he give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not, what was his church, nor what was his creed?
But had he befriended those really in need?
Was he ever ready, with a word of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when he passed away?

Anon.

one year

It's a year to the day since graham died.



Sorely missed but always fondly remembered.