Good times

Tribute to Graham by Pat Aylett, Chair of Governors, Stoke Mandeville Combined School

Tribute to Graham on behalf of the Governors of Stoke Mandeville Combined School, delivered at a special service in his memory at Stoke Mandeville church on 27th November 2009

Graham’s professional qualities earned him respect from all who worked with him and his personal qualities endeared him to us all. He was very special to so many people whose lives he touched.

The dictionary definition of a leader is someone who rules, guides and inspires. As the Head of our school, Graham did all of these in an exceptional way.

He ruled – not with a rod of iron- although he could be authoritarian when needed – but by gaining trust and respect from the children, staff and governors. When the Governors appointed him we gave him a mandate to lead and manage our school because we believed that he had the professional skills and experience to do this important job well. We were not wrong. His style of leadership was thoughtful, sensitive and quietly charismatic. He didn’t rush into action or make important decisions without careful consideration and experienced professional judgement. His analysis of a situation or proposal was always thorough and his judgement sound.

He guided all of us in the school community in different ways, giving everyone what they needed to develop and be successful, The tributes and messages from the children show how much they valued his guidance and thrived on it. He guided the staff and encouraged them as professionals both individually and as a team. He guided the Governors, helping us to understand what we needed to do to enable the school to develop, and working with us to achieve our common goals. And he supported us all in so many different ways.

He inspired us with his ideas and his vision for the future. He never lost sight of the little things, the ‘nuts and bolts’ of the job, but he could see the ‘big picture’ for the school as a whole and he knew what he wanted to do to give all our children the best education and to support his belief that “Every day is a day for learning”. He was working on this vision and planning developments to support it even on the day he died. There is already visible evidence of this in the school and there will be more in the months ahead. The staff and Governors know what Graham’s aims for the children and the school were, because he shared his vision with us. In his memory we will make it happen.


Pat Aylett
Chair of Governors

Charity Donations in Graham's Memory

If you would like to make a donation in memory of Graham, Towe has asked that we support one of two charities:

Teacher Support Network (for practical and emotional support of teachers) http://teachersupport.info/

Winston's Wish (for bereaved families) http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/default.asp

Please send cheques (made out to "Teacher Support Network" or "Winstons Wish") before the end of December 2009 to Surman & Horwood, Funeral Directors, The Green, Crowell, OX39 4RR (01844 351323), surmanandhorwood@btconnect.com

a memorial service for graham

Monday 7th December
St. Mary's Church,
Thame.
4 pm.

There will also be some light refreshments in the church afterwards. The service is open to all, and we expect it to be very full.

A pleasure knowing you Graham.

Where do you start with this sort of thing?

My wife, Michelle, and I got to know both Graham and Towe from around the time of Aila being born, following an introduction from Sue Smith. We mostly did 'couply' sort of get togethers, but there would be the occasional meet up with Graham and me in the pub, to do Blokes Talk, Graham supping his usual half pint limit! What would happen if he drank more? I'll never know now.

Graham was an instantly likeable person, exuding an instant calm, warm and humourous personality and, although we didn't get to meet up that often, we could more or less pick up a conversation where we left off.

At times, I would be sent round to either drop off or pick up something one of my children had left after a party or other get together. It would start out as a quick drop in, simply to pick up the said pair of shoes, gloves, toy or whatever, but Graham would always offer a beer and we'd sit at the garden table (weather permitting) and chat for a while. Ordinarily I'd probably get 'that stare' if I'd had that beer and chat with anyone else, but with Graham it was considered quality time, certainly for me and I hope for Graham also.

There are a couple of 'if onlys'. We were well overdue for a pub catch up. We never did get that curry in.

As a couple get together, we were due to meet up this weekend, at Graham and Towes, for a Strictly Come Dancing evening! When I was told of this, I thought "Right, OK. Not my thing, but at least I can have a background chat with Graham, while the girls watch the telly." But no, I was reliably informed that Graham liked Strictly, so I would have to muck in. Good grief!

I'm absolutely sure that the evening would have been brilliant, despite my dancing apathy, and there you have one more If Only.

To conclude, it was an absolute pleasure to know Graham. The fact that Simon, Stumpy and all the other characters have remained friends for so long is a fitting tribute in itself.

To Towe and the children, who will no doubt read this Blog page when they are ready, there are many sharing your loss and we will be there for you in the weeks and years ahead- you only need to ask.

A fond farewell Graham.

David